Wrong. Since you’re like me, and I’m a spineless, simple-minded sloth, the best resolution you can make is one you can actually keep, and here it is: this year, let’s resolve to stop kidding ourselves.
You’re not going to lose that pesky 20 pounds around your love handles that’s been taunting you since college, you’re not going to quit gambling and save enough money to go wine tasting in Tuscany next summer, and you’re definitely not going to get that strange mole on your neck checked out, even though it’s been growing and changing colors like a scene from a Van Gogh painting.
Now that each of us are free to embrace our own inner crapulence, please sit back and enjoy TIME Magazine’s ‘Top 10 Most Commonly Broken New Year’s Resolutions’ from the year 2012. Yes, good reader, I realize this list is 7 years old, but it’s the first thing that popped up in my Google search, and I’m too tired and lazy to research further. I’m enlightened now, so I can admit that. Besides, how much can this stuff change over the years, anyway?
1. Lose Weight / Get Fit
2. Quit Smoking
3. Learn Something New
4. Eat healthier and Diet
5. Get Out of Debt / Save Money
6. Spend More Time With Family
7. Travel to New Places
8. Be Less Stressed
10. Drink Less